Taking a deep breath, you click the button. Your qualifying test has been submitted. You’ve read and studied and memorized and recited and worked all summer leading up to this test. Now, you wait. Several agonizing days waiting for the results to be announced – along with the study passage: Ephesians.
What if you didn’t get that cross-reference question right? What if the question meant a different Hebrew word? What if you didn’t remember the right context to that verse? What if you make it to nationals? What if you don’t even rank as an alternate? What if, what if, what if?
There’s a lot of stress that often surrounds test taking. Before, during, after – the anticipation, the anxiety, the accomplishment – it can be stressful.
At this point, you’ve found out what your ranking is. You’ve looked up the answers to the questions you remember from the test. You’re either preparing for nationals or you’re not. You’re answering people’s inquiries about how the test went.
I remember all of the emotions and stress surrounding the qualifying test, I remember the sheer exhilaration of qualifying and the deep disappointment at not even ranking as an alternate.
Now, several years after aging out of the National Bible Bee Competition, I’m still taking tests that have similar potential for anxiety and stress. As an airplane pilot and mechanic, I took ten Federal Aviation Administration tests in 2023. Four written tests, three oral and three practical exams. Each test, I struggled with the fear of failure: the what if, what if, what if. I felt like I could fail God and fail what He had asked me to do in pursuing mission aviation. I worried about disappointing my family, disappointing friends, or disappointing God. I wondered what would happen if I failed, if I had to retake the exam, if I didn’t get the license I needed.
But everything changed with two words.
In love.
When I read Ephesians and listened to a podcast on imposter syndrome by John Piper, these two words changed my entire perspective and turned my world upside down. The root of my fear of failure was my striving to earn God’s love (which, spoiler alert, we can’t do) through my works. I knew I wasn’t saved by my works, but maybe in my seeking to please God and find favor with Him, I would earn His love.
John Piper explained, “Apart from Christ, we are constantly striving toward love, toward acceptance, toward forgiveness. The gospel turns that upside down and puts acceptance and love at the bottom, from which we can then strive for excellence without the burden of “I’ve got to prove myself in order to get myself loved”… By grace alone, through faith alone, on the basis of the work of Christ alone, we stand on the glorious rock of the forgiveness of our sins, our acceptance with God, the removal of our guilt, the canceling of our debts — all of it rooted in the love of God, who chose us for himself before the foundation of the world.”
The passage Piper is referencing is Ephesians 3:17-19, “So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.” (NASB)
Even though I had heard and memorized and recited these verses dozens of times, they touched me in new way and brought me to a deeper realization of God’s love.
In previous Creation articles here on the NBB blog, we’ve discussed the imagery of trees in the Bible and the way that they are rooted and grounded. The way that the roots form a foundation upon which a beautiful tree can flourish, the way that the expanse of the root structure and network defines the strength of the tree – this is the way that the love of God is a strong foundation. When we are rooted and grounded in the love that does not and cannot change, we can rest in the truth of the gospel and cease striving (Psalm 46:10). From there, we grow in grace and knowledge and love and we extend it to others like the branches stretching out from a thriving tree.
Nothing can separate us from the love of God – not death or life or angels or principalities or failed tests or successful tests or qualifications or lack of qualifications (Romans 8:38-39). This sure and steadfast love defines us and compels us, not our fear of failure or our desire for success.
This reminder is given throughout the whole book of Ephesians.
In love He predestined us to adoption as sons. But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us made us alive together with Christ. That you, being rooted and grounded in love. To know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge. With patience, showing tolerance for one another in love. But speaking the truth in love. For the building up of the body in love. Walk in love, just as Christ also loved you. Grace be with all those who love our Lord Jesus Christ with incorruptible love. (Ephesians 1:4, 2:4, 3:17, 3:18. 4:2, 4:15, 4:16, 5:1, 6:24)
In the words of Elisabeth Elliot – and drawn from Jeremiah 31:3 and Deuteronomy 33:27 – I want to remind you, “You are loved with an everlasting love and underneath are the everlasting arms.” You are held in love, rooted and grounded there in a firm foundation that cannot change. No ranking from a test, no number of passages you’ve memorized, no amount of Greek or Hebrew can change the love of God for you.
If you qualified for nationals this year and you’re already deep into your study of Ephesians, remember that as you prepare for the next test – you are loved.
If you ranked as an alternate and did or didn’t get invited to nationals, remember as you wonder why you were so close and yet so far – you are loved.
If you didn’t qualify for nationals this year, remember as you’re trying to decide if you’ll study Ephesians on your own anyway or pick something entirely different – you are loved.
From the very beginning, in love He predestined us to adoption. (Ephesians 1:4)
From when we were dead in our transgressions, He loved us with a great love. (Ephesians 2:4)
Let the love of Christ, which surpasses our knowledge, be your foundation, be the way you walk, be your strength. Don’t study Ephesians in striving for success or fear of failure. Rest in the love of God, and study out of an incorruptible love for our Lord Jesus Christ!
Written by NBB Alumna: Julia Cagasan
